George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

They are interrupted by the parlor-maid, announcing guests.
THE PARLOR-MAID
. Mrs. and Miss Eynsford Hill. [She
withdraws].
HIGGINS
. Oh Lord! [He rises; snatches his hat from the table;
and makes for the door; but before he reaches it his mother in-
troduces him].
Mrs. and Miss Eynsford Hill are the mother and daughter who
sheltered from the rain in Covent Garden. The mother is well
bred, quiet, and has the habitual anxiety of straitened means.
The daughter has acquired a gay air of being very much at
home in society: the bravado of genteel poverty.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL 
[to Mrs. Higgins] How do you
do? [They shake hands].
MISS EYNSFORD HILL
. How d’you do? [She shakes].
MRS. HIGGINS 
[introducing] My son Henry.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
. Your celebrated son! I have so
longed to meet you, Professor Higgins.
HIGGINS 
[glumly, making no movement in her direction]
Delighted. [He backs against the piano and bows brusquely].
MISS EYNSFORD HILL 
[going to him with confident fa-
miliarity] How do you do?
HIGGINS 
[staring at her] I’ve seen you before somewhere. I
haven’t the ghost of a notion where; but I’ve heard your voice.
[Drearily] It doesn’t matter. You’d better sit down.
MRS. HIGGINS
. I’m sorry to say that my celebrated son
has no manners. You mustn’t mind him.
MISS EYNSFORD HILL 
[gaily] I don’t. [She sits in the Eliza-
bethan chair].
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL 
[a little bewildered] Not at all.
[She sits on the ottoman between her daughter and Mrs. Higgins,
who has turned her chair away from the writing-table].
HIGGINS
. Oh, have I been rude? I didn’t mean to be. He
goes to the central window, through which, with his back to
the company, he contemplates the river and the flowers in
Battersea Park on the opposite bank as if they were a frozen
dessert.

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46
Pygmalion
The parlor-maid returns, ushering in Pickering.
THE PARLOR-MAID
. Colonel Pickering [She withdraws].
PICKERING
. How do you do, Mrs. Higgins?
MRS. HIGGINS
. So glad you’ve come. Do you know Mrs.
Eynsford Hill—Miss Eynsford Hill? [Exchange of bows. The
Colonel brings the Chippendale chair a little forward between
Mrs. Hill and Mrs. Higgins, and sits down].
PICKERING
. Has Henry told you what we’ve come for?
HIGGINS 
[over his shoulder] We were interrupted: damn it!
MRS. HIGGINS
. Oh Henry, Henry, really!
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL 
[half rising] Are we in the way?
MRS. HIGGINS 
[rising and making her sit down again] No,
no. You couldn’t have come more fortunately: we want you
to meet a friend of ours.
HIGGINS 
[turning hopefully] Yes, by George! We want two
or three people. You’ll do as well as anybody else.
The parlor-maid returns, ushering Freddy.
THE PARLOR-MAID
. Mr. Eynsford Hill.
HIGGINS 
[almost audibly, past endurance] God of Heaven!
another of them.
FREDDY 
[shaking hands with Mrs. Higgins] Ahdedo?
MRS. HIGGINS
. Very good of you to come. [Introducing]
Colonel Pickering.
FREDDY 
[bowing] Ahdedo?
MRS. HIGGINS
. I don’t think you know my son, Professor
Higgins.
FREDDY 
[going to Higgins] Ahdedo?
HIGGINS 
[looking at him much as if he were a pickpocket]
I’ll take my oath I’ve met you before somewhere. Where was
it?
FREDDY
. I don’t think so.
HIGGINS 
[resignedly] It don’t matter, anyhow. Sit down.
He shakes Freddy’s hand, and almost slings him on the otto-
man with his face to the windows; then comes round to the
other side of it.

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47
Shaw
HIGGINS
. Well, here we are, anyhow! [He sits down on the