popular edition of the FrancoGerman War of 18707I It
consisted of two issues of an illustrated periodical from those
years, which now became my favorite reading matter It was not
long before the great heroic struggle had become my greatest
inner experience. From then on I became more and more
enthusiastic about everything that was in any way connected with
war or, for that matter, with soldiering But in another respect as
well, this was to assume importance for me. For the first time,
though as yet in a confused form, the question was forced upon
my consciousness: Was there a difference and if so what
differencebetween the Germans who fought these battles and
other Germans? Why hadn't Austria taken part in this war; why
hadn't my father and all the others fought?
Are we not the same as all other Germans?
Do we not all belong together? This problem began to gnaw at
my little brain for the first time. I asked cautious questions and
with secret envy received the answer that not every German was
fortunate enough to belong to Bismarck's Reich..
This was more than I could understand.
It was decided that I should go to high school.
From my whole nature, and to an even greater degree from my
temperament, my father believed he could draw the inference
that the humanistic Gymnasium would represent a conflict with
my talents. A Realschol seemed to him more suitable. In this
opinion he was especially strengthened by my obvious aptitude
for drawing; a subject which in his opinion was neglected in the
Austrian Gymnasiums. Another factor may have been his own
laborious career which made humanistic study seem impractical
in his eyes, and therefore less desirable. It was hus basic opinion
and intention that, like himself, his son would and must become a
civil servant. It was only natural that the hardships of his youth
should enhance his subsequent
achievement in his eyes,
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