and little scope for family life or relaxation, leading to enormous stress and anxiety.
Turning to possible solutions, the biggest step would be to improve the level of education
regarding health issues connected to lifestyle, especially obesity. The government, media and schools
should work together to raise awareness of the dangers and to promote sports and other positive
practices. A further step would be to use legislation to curb the consumption of unhealthy foods, for
example by imposing higher sales taxes or by restricting availability in retail outlets. Furthermore, to
deal with the psychological impacts, we should encourage employers to adopt more flexible working
practices, allowing workers to lead a fuller private life with less stress.
Overall, the key problems of obesity and stress can be addressed through a combination of
awareness, targeted legislation and better employment practices.
9271 words)
Examiner’s comments
This essay deserves a Band 9 score. The writer gives a brief introduction to the topic, and
then gives three relevant examples of the problems, using generally available evidence. Each idea is
introduced with a helpful linking phrase (
E.g. ‘Turning to, furthermore.’) The writer suggests three
sensible solutions, and considers their impact on the situation. The summary is brief but
comprehensive, and paraphrases the main ideas well. The vocabulary used throughout the essay is
modern and formal/academic in tone (
E.g. ‘scope, inevitable, legislation.’)
Example Task 12
Dostları ilə paylaş: